Thursday, January 28, 2010

Awesome Student Rips Shitty Picasso Picture

"A CLUMSY art-lover damaged a rare Picasso painting after losing her balance and tripping onto the masterpiece.

Sky News reported the woman collided with the $143m century-old work, called The Actor, and caused a 15cm vertical tear in the lower right hand corner.

The accident happened at New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art, where its experts have been assessing the damage"Source
Tripping into the masterpiece? $143 million dollars?? No offense Picasso but this painting is worth 143 million dollars????? This looks like a character out of a Tim Burton movie...I've seen retarded third graders with better drawings then this. That chick should of not only tripped into it and ripped it, but also doused it with gasoline, sacrificed a new born baby, and thrown a pair of Brett Favre's Wrangler Jeans on top of the horrid mess that would remain...if that piece of shit is worth that much someone please appraise my painting has to be worth at least 50 million dollars

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Axe Cleans My Balls

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Woman Kills Boyfriend By Sitting On His Face

When I first read the headline to this story I thought to myself, wow, I hope I go out that way.  That was until I saw the picture of the attacker and subsequent story..
"Mia Landingham had been drinking all day when she got into a fight with boyfriend Mikal Middleton-Bey at their Cleveland home. Landingham punched him in the face. Bey grabbed her. That's when she knocked him to the ground and sat on him...

At the time, she weighed in at a hefty 300 pounds. Bey, a mere 120 pounds, was fighting way out of his weight class. By the time she got off him, he wasn't breathing. He later died of asphyxiation."Source
I don't know what I find sadder funnier about this story, the fact that she killed him by sitting on his face, the fact that she was 300 lbs and her boyfriend was 120lbs, or the fact that he thought he could take down this beast  ...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Gingers Have Souls

Thanks for clearing that up for everybody and I'm sure Gingers everywhere won't get picked on anymore after this video....seriously...this kid scares me
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Charles in Charge not Racist...His Wife's Best Friend Is Black

Scott Baio (or Chachi as I like to call him) was in a bit of heat this weekend after taking a jab at Michelle Obama
"Former 'Happy Days' star Scott Baio says he is receiving death threats over Twitter after posting an unflattering photo of Michelle Obama with an insulting caption.

Baio is a vocal Republican who had been tweeting breathlessly about Scott Brown's victory before he made this attempt at a joke about the first lady.

"WOW He wakes up to this every morning," Baio tweeted, along with this photo"

It could've just ended with that weird tweet but Baio wanted to prove how much he loves black people and defend his actions...
"His followers were not amused and began leaving him instructions to kill himself and calling him a racist idiot and worse. Baio did himself no favors by trying to prove his lack of racism.

"I'm NOT racist for posting a pic of M.O. My WIFE'S BEST FRD IS BLACK,HELLO" he tweeted.

And: "Do I look like I'm racist? This is Renee's BEST frd. STOP USING THE RACE CARD!!!" Here is a picture Baio tweeted of himself with said black person:"

I think that picture should've cleared up the whole situation, everyone of us white people know that if you make a racist comment you must take certain steps to prove you aren't racist...
Step 1: Let everyone know that you or your significant other have at least one black friend.
Step 2: You must backup your comments with an awkward picture with aforementioned black person. (even if it looks like they might be Indian or some other minority and that you might be groping them with one hand it still counts)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Original Jersey Shore

I heard this was filmed with the same characters 20 years ago and the video was finally released...
Monday, January 25, 2010

Nikon Coolpix Camera: No Love You Long Time

Apparently Nikon's Coolpix Camera's facial recognition feature also sends out a warning if someone blinks in the picture, which actually sounds really cool...unless you're Asian....
"When Joz Wang and her brother bought their mom a Nikon Coolpix S630 digital camera for Mother's Day last year, they discovered what seemed to be a malfunction. Every time they took a portrait of each other smiling, a message flashed across the screen asking, "Did someone blink?" No one had. "I thought the camera was broken!" Wang, 33, recalls. But when her brother posed with his eyes open so wide that he looked "bug-eyed," the messages stopped." Say's Yahoo News

When I first read this article I was appalled and disgusted...If anything, this technology should be used in all Asian driven cars so they can see farther, drive faster, and not cut me off...(Ohhhh Asian stereotype burrrnnn!)
Monday, January 25, 2010

All White Basketball Team...Really??

"A new professional basketball league boasting rosters made up exclusively of white Americans has its eyes set on Augusta, but the team isn't receiving a warm welcome.

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes Augusta will be one of 12 cities with a team.

"Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league," the statement said."Source

This sounds about as smart as an all black Frisbee golf team...I'm guessing they would have to lower the hoops and bring short shorts back.
Sunday, January 24, 2010

Shake Weight or Hand Job Trainer?

Ladies...if using this product is your occupation, then I probably have a full time job for you.
Thursday, January 21, 2010

Farewell Jersey Shore

Watching the Jersey Shore is like watching 2 girls 1 cup; you want to look away but something won't let you ...In honor of tonight's finale episode of the worst/greatest show ever created, I've decided to compile a list of memorable quotes from this season


"I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum & say 'chew on this'."

"Yeah, we smushed."

"We hold hands in front of you, we cuddle in front of you, we make out in front of you, like what else do we need, do I need to beat it front of you, too?"

"If I was just gonna get sloppy, I should have just pounded out what’s her name on Friday night."

"You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to shit."

"The rhino Juice is the shit that gets the night going, I mean whenever that shit comes out it’s always a filthy night."

"Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would."

"Schnickers is like crying 'cause she got punched in the face and like The Situation is creepin'."

"I’ll suck your big toe right now, I don’t give a shit."


"How do you go in a fucking jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini , that's a little bit more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all, ya know what I mean?"

"I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things."


"Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip-gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards."


"My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life."

"My ideal man would be Italian, dark, muscles, juice-head, guido".

"I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much."

"He’s a really good guy. That’s the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron." [it was Russ]

Pauly D

"You Stalked my whole life on the boardwalk"

"And in walks this girl with like garbage bags. I thought that was kinda like ghetto, and like weird. Like you can't find a suitcase? No one in your family's got a suitcase you can borrow?"

"My hair didn't even move an inch and I was in & out of the water. My hair's windproof, waterproof, soccerproof, motocycleproof. I'm not sure if my hair's bulletproof, I'm not willin' to try that."

"She just doesn't want to feel like a trashbag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue."

"I was born and raised a guido. It's just a lifestyle, it's being Italian, it's representing, family, friends, tanning, gel, everything."

"We’re beatin’-up-the-beat, that’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we’re banging it as the beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up that beat."

The Situation

"This is The Situation right here, my abs are so ripped up it's.. we call it The Situation."

"It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten"

"I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn’t want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house."

"There’s one huge grenade launcher, there’s one grenade, and then there’s one cutie."

"G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry"

"When we’re out on the battlefield, I’m like the first strike. It’s sorta like they send me out, first, like the Navy SEALS."

"I'm hooking up with my girl, Pauly's hooking up with his girl & ahh, we're gonna have sex, so, ya know, that's the situation."

"I'm not touching one dish, because I cooked a crazy meal and she's got the nerve to tell me to clean my plate. You know what? You are excluded from dinner then, from now on you are excluded from the surf n' turf night. You excluded from ravioli night, you excluded from chicken cutlet night."

"I’m like “chill out, Freckles McGee.”

"Basically, one of these girls was definitely more cuter than the other and it happened to be my girl & Pauly D was with “the grenade.” When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first."

"I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the
day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook."

"Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougers. I just have unbelievable mass appeal."

"If you want to look somewhat like The Situation, which is gonna be pretty hard, you need to get that protein in your diet."

"You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off."

"Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation."

"I mean this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into the situation."
Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Old School

Chappelle's Show
Great Moments in Hook-Up History
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story

A flashback to one of the funniest shows ever made........
Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Just When You Thought Massachusetts Couldn't Get Any Worse

It started with horrible drivers, wicked horrible accents, cheating football teams, and douchey baseball teams. But today Massachusetts decided to elect Scott Brown, the first Republican elected senator in 30 years. The republican part I don't really care about. Rule number one Massachusetts, don't elect any official that in his life has made a photo shoot with a happy trail and has a wrist wide enough to cover his small penis.
Monday, January 18, 2010

8 Year Old Put on Terror Watchlist

"Michael “Mikey” Hicks, whose father is a US Navy veteran and mother a photojournalist who has flown with the US vice-president, has been the target of extra security measures at airports since he was 2. “Why would a kid be a terrorist?” he asks.

Michael is not on the US Government’s “no-fly” list of 2,500 people considered too dangerous to be allowed into the air. However, his name appears to be among, or to closely match, one of the 13,500 on the “selectee” list who are singled out for extra airport security.

His parents first learnt of his status when they could not get him a seat for a flight to Florida because, as an airline official explained, he was “on the list”. He was patted down for the first time aged 2 as he passed through Newark airport in New Jersey."

It's times like these that make me feel real safe to live in the USA. We won't stop a man from getting on a plane with a bulge in his pants from an underwear bomb, who's own father alerted the US Embassy, who bought his one way ticket in cash, and didn't check any bags. But this little shit Michael Hicks had it coming...look at that smug little picture and tell me you don't see him in that same outfit ten years from now at an Al Qaeda training camp.
Monday, January 18, 2010

Big Girls Don't Cry...or Shave Their Legs


Mo'nique at last nights Golden Globe Awards sporting a lovely parachute for a dress and hairy linebacker legs.
Monday, January 18, 2010

Prince Loves Football & Purple Things

I didn't really care about the Viking's thrashing of the Cowboys yesterday, but during the broadcast I noticed that Prince dropped in to watch the game and more importantly wasn't wearing a dress. I heard a rumor after the game Prince challenged Brett Favre to a 5 on 5 two hand touch game against himself and the revolution, to which Favre replied "Definitely...Uh nevermind I'm not going play anymore...But maybe I'll play...Nah I'm really done this time...Actually....."
Sunday, January 17, 2010

Austrailian For Racism

I'm gonna leave this one alone...
Sunday, January 17, 2010

Jets Advance to AFC Championship Thanks To Nate Kaeding

Congratulations to the New York Jets for advancing to the AFC Championship today. But not because they are a good team and deserve it, but because of San Diego's Nate Kaeding's uncanny talent of missing three field goals.
Friday, January 15, 2010

Jimmy Kimmel Owns Leno on His Own Show

"The best prank I ever pulled was I told a guy that—five years from now—I'm gonna give you my show. And then when the five years came, I gave it to him, and then I took it back almost instantly."
Just one of the hysterical quotes from Jimmy Kimmel ripping Leno on his own show. Kimmel standing up for late night ginger hosts everywhere.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

Megan Fox's New Ad's For Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans

No, it's not really news, or relevant for that matter, but I really don't care what you think anyway...She might have big toes for thumbs but I'll let it pass

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Roxxxy the Sex Robot

At the Las Vegas Adult Entertainment Expo last weekend Roxxxy the Sex Robot was unleashed upon the world (and soon on rich virgins laps at a price of $7,000-$9,000). Not only can you bang this robot but it also talks with phrases such as "I love holding hands with you" and will come with different personalities to suit it's buyer. Because you know when you're banging a robot that can't move you want that chick to have some kind of personality or else that would be a real turn off right?
Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Taco Bell Diarrhea Diet

I've been seeing this horrible commercial for a little over a month now....first fatty Jared from Subway did it and made millions by losing weight eating small low in fat sandwiches. That to me makes sense, but now you're going to tell me fast food places like Taco Bell think they can get away with this crap?? The only way this chick lost 54lbs eating burritos and tacos everyday was either from severe diarrhea or a parasite. I know what you're thinking, that you'd have to be a mentally retarded person to fall for this and if you read the small print it says she lost 54lbs over a two year period and eating a 1250 calorie taco hell diet a day and no one in this country is dumb enough to fall for this. But unfortunately we live in a country where the majority of the population twice...twice, voted for George Bush.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

Jersey Shore is really a...Situation

As a person born and bred in Jersey when I heard that MTV was making a show called the Jersey Shore I immediately wanted to blow my brains out in a group of gelled up fist pumping fags. That is until I finally watched the first episode. I am not a big fan of guidos, fake tans, fist pumping or any of the homo-erotic shit that they do. I was even more worried about this show cause lets face it, Jersey doesn't have the best rep as it is and I thought wow, now were gonna throw in a bunch of juiced up retards and loud mouthed whores on top of everything else. That is until I was introduced via telelvision the Situation. This clown is hysterical, I don't care what anyone says, the shit that comes out of this kids mouth is priceless even if it is all bullshit and he never closes the deal with any girl except ones that look like they have down syndrome. The rest of the cast are okay characters, Snooki is ...well she calls herself Snooki and gets punched in the face at a bar by a man, that's entertainment enough for me. And the rest of these ass clowns are okay by me as well... minus the gay love story...(remember Ronnie rule #1 you don't fall in love at the Jersey Shore). With priceless quotes like calling an ugly girl a hand grenade, calling fist pumping beating up the beat, and GTL'ing everyday (Gym, Tanning, Laundry) I find myself looking forward to each episode for some strange reason. Maybe because I too want to find love at the Jersey Shore like any normal human being...or maybe because Guidos getting drunk, eating pasta, getting in fights, getting dirty whores in a hot tub and selling T-Shirts is entertaining to me....
Thursday, January 14, 2010

Tigers Wood

Ok....first of all I know this topic is well over hyped and publicized as it is and that I'm wayyyyy late on the topic. But since I just started I like most people couldn't leave this story alone. I really didn't care that Tiger has been cheating on his wife and honestly neither should you. People cheat everyday on each other, and some I guess with multiple platoons of dirty whores. It should really be just between himself, his wife, and every white blonde headed girl in the world. But seriously if you're gonna pick something out that you see crazy with Tiger Woods life the first thing that comes to mind is he's made over 1 billion dollars hitting a ball with a stick. He could steal Taylor Swifts next music award on stage and bend her over and I'd still be more surprised by the previous statement. In my opinion Gatorade missed the jackpot with his drink by discontinuing it, imagine marketing the first sex sports drink. I can see the commercial now, Tiger walking out of a room with a hot blonde chick passed out on the bed behind him in a sex he walks out sweating in a robe he reaches for his Tiger Woods Gatorade and takes a swig and looks down an endless hall filled with doors occupied by more white whores and smiles at the camera and walks down to the next room......I'd fucking bathe in that drink.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

First Blog

This is my first blog that I started because I feel that just like every other jackass on the internet that I can provide a little bit of entertainment....mostly to myself. I post stories and news that I find entertaining and comment on how I really feel about them without caring how anyone else thinks. Without further adieu (sp?) or however the hell you spell that...I bring you the Dusty Dinkleman Jersey it will make you want to ski in your jeans.